Mixed Feelings

I knew this day would come, but I didn't really want it to - our social workers are talking about sending our foster kids back to their mom. Being a foster parent has been frustrating and tiring at times, but we've developed a real bond with these kids and we love them like our own kids. It's been a real delight to see Sahara thrive and learn to crawl, to see Ariyana learn new words and discover running, to see Noah learn his colors and develop manners. It's going to be difficult to see them go, espcially when I'm not completely sure that it's the right decision to send them back. I don't know - maybe I'm trying to exert control over an out of my control situation by thinking that they'd be better with us. I just need to trust that the right thing will happen for everyone involved. I need to remind myself that even if they don't get to stay with us, we've taught them some valuable skills and given Sahara a decent start in life. At any rate, I don't know why I'm so worked up about it now...it will be months before Noah goes back and even more months before the girls go back. I think I'm just mourning ahead of time and I probably just need to snap out of it.