Fostering's Not For Everyone

When you go through foster care training, they tell you that fostering isn't for everyone. Even if you have an interest and a decent set of skills to deal with kids, it still might not be for you. I think we've come to realize that maybe we're not cut out to be foster parents. Fostering adds an unanticipated strain on a marriage and strain on relationships with your own kids. And if one person is more into it than the other then you're just asking for trouble. Of course three foster kids at one time is stressful. I'm not sure what we were thinking when we took that on. More recently with Dakota, the same issues we had when there were three are popping up with one. I'm thinking that we might give it up after Dakota goes back to his family which could be as soon as next week. We might just do respite care and support other foster parents through that because it is an important job even if we're not the one's doing it. When it comes to fostering I just want to be faithful to God. I want to follow the path He's placed me on. I thought I was doing that, but now I'm not so sure. Maybe our calling is to raise our PKU boys to the best of our ability.

Getting to Know Dakota

So I'm getting to know Dakota a little better. He's eight months old, but he acts more like a five or six month old. I totally get that he was born 5 weeks premature, but I totally think everything about this is wrong. I think if he'd been living with people that cared about him and were knowledgable about babies and their growth, he'd have caught up by now. Five weeks is something that should have been able to be overcome within a couple of months. But here he is - small, no tonge control (spits out baby food), eating only about 2 ounces at a time, not sleeping through the night, not able to sit up on his own or roll from his back to stomach. It's sad really. The Depaul social worker is going to make a referral to Early Intervention, which I'm excited about because I really want some suggestions on how to help him get where he should be. I'm thinking it's going to require lots of tummy time (and crying) and giving him foods so that he can practice eating (which is frustrating and messy for me). I just want to be the best foster parent I can be for him so I'll take the crying and mess and frustration to help give him a better start in life.

In other news, I think Colby is finally starting to feel better. If he wants he can go to school tomorrow. Also, I'm feeling lots better. Carter now has a runny nose and a little cough, but he's resting lots so we'll see how he feels tomorrow. Now we'll just cross our fingers and pray that Dakota doesn't get this nastiness.

New Foster

Yesterday we got a new foster child. He's eight months old and his name is Dakota. I don't know much about his situation other than his parents did not want him living with relatives so now he's in foster care. They seem to have drug and mental health issues that they're work on. They seem hopeful that Dakota will be coming back to them soon. I don't know how long Dakota will be with us and nobody seems to know much of anything about this little boy except he drinks a special formula because he was born 5 weeks early. They didn't even know how much I should give him and didn't give any instructions on his care. For the moment he's attending daycare with Carter and we'll see how things go from there. He could be with us for a day, month, or year, who knows. I'm just going to give him a routine and shower him with love while we have him. At least this time isn't as crazy as last time :-) But now I have instant twins! Unfortunately he's not where he should be developmentally so he's very much like a baby where Carter is more like a toddler these days. It will be fun while it lasts I guess!

Long Week...

It has been a really long week. I'm blaming daylight savings time. I've been very tired. Thursday night I fell asleep at 8:00. At school we're working on research papers which is hellish to begin with and when you're a tired teacher that makes it soooo much worse. Research is my least favorite thing to teach because students have to be able to regulate themselves, which is like herding cats when it comes to ninth graders. Plus I have to hear my name fifty million times a day to answer their questions. Not that I'm against answering questions, but they wouldn't need to ask at least half the questions they ask if they would just listen to what I say. But I might as well turn the moon into cheese. Sigh... At least after research I get to teach Romeo and Juliet and then a novel. Some of you might think it's odd, but Romeo and Juliet is possibly my farvorite thing to teach :-)

In other news, Carter has started crawling this week. It's pretty cool to see him learning to do something new, but now he'll be into everything. I'll have to watch him all the time until his like two. His favorite things to put in his mouth right now are plastic bags and paper, so cleaning up will be the first order of business tomorrow. He's also cutting his top two teeth so he's kind of cranky right now. I hope it passes soon.

So far I haven't seen anything growing out in the garden, but I guess it's too soon :-) What can I say, I'm impatient :-)

Cold Frame!

I was thinking about our garden today an lamenting the fact that we'd need to get some lumber in order to make a cold frame. But then I got to thinking that I didn't really need lumber...what about hay bales? So I googled it and apparently this is a doable option. I mean, we already have the plexiglass, we just need something to set it on and that something needs to be portable because when the weather warms we're going to have to move it for the warm weather plants. When I drove to Walmart I peaked over at Lowes and saw that their tractor trailers with hay bales were still there...yay! I'm thinking next weekend when the weather warms up, I'll till a spot on one side of the garden and make a few Lowes trips to get the hay bales I need and get some lettuce, spinach and broccoli started in my hay bale cold frame! Yay! Here's the link to a website that inspired me: http://www.appalachianfeet.com/2012/03/02/how-to-build-an-inexpensive-cold-frame-in-under-30-minutes-with-no-tools/

Pressed for Time

Yesterday I got a frantic phone call during my fourth block class. The foster care agency we work with wanted to know if we would take a six year old girl foster child and they wanted to know in 10 minutes if we would do it. I didn't panic, but I felt a little stressed because I had students in the classroom and I needed to talk to Brandon. I got my students started on something and then called Brandon. We made a quick decision that we could do it. It turned out that social services probably found a relative for her to stay with, which is good because that means she probably knows the people instead of staying with total strangers (even if we have a good heart!). I got just a slight bit irritated about them rushing us for a decision when it turned out that they didn't even need us. Anyway that means we get a nice calm weekend and I don't have to worry about three school drop-offs on Monday.

The seeds I planted finally sprouted so I fixed my gardening lights last night. I hope I get some great plants this year!

Musings on Cleaning and Other Stuff

I don't know how our house becomes so messy, but it seems like it just never stays clean. It's definately not as bad as it could be since we've kept it moderately clean these last couple of weeks, but I look around and just sigh because it always needs more work. I guess I'm burning calories as I clean! The worst part is laundry. I never realized how much I hate folding it and putting it away. Sure it's satisfying to see your closet all nice and neat with all your clothes hung and ready to go, but it is so depressing to know you'll need to do it again in a week. Is it acceptable to just live out of your laundry basket? No, you say....okay.... I ran across an internet article about 10 things that will make you love your house more - maybe I'll try a couple like making my bed and taking three minutes to make a room ready to use before I leave it. Well, then that brings me back to laundry because I need to wash my sheets...arg!

Anyway, we had parent-teacher conferences on Thursday. I was nervous about meeting with one parent so I dressed as professionally as I could for that day - my thought was I'm not going to give her any more ammo to make me look like a bad person. It turned out fine when my parent who was adamant the The Road was a terrible, awful book finally just told me that she'd rather her daughter read another book. That's certainly fine with me, but I'm still ticked that she made it personal and tried to make me seem like a bad person and teacher because of my book and tv show choices. Why have all this drama!? This still might not be the end of the story because my principal told me that she might be going to the school board. We'll see.

In other news, Carter is almost crawling. It's just as well that the house is clean because Carter is EVERYWHERE! He just rolls across the floor to where he wants to be. He can get on his hands and knees and kind of slide himself forward so it's just a matter of time before he starts following me everywhere and putting anything and everything in his mouth. Colby is having a fun day with his daddy today. Brandon took him to Roanoke to be part of an activity that the PD is doing. They're filming new scenarios for their virtual reality simulator on a couple of air planes so Colby is going to be a passenger I guess while police officers take down some "bad guys". It's all pretend. He'll probably love it because he gets to get on air planes AND watch some "bad guys" get arrested. Cleary this is something only a little boy could appreciate. This afternoon Colby gets to go to a birthday party, so I'm sure he'll be pooped by the time he gets home.

What a Busy Week!

This week has been a crazy week. It started with Carter's daycare calling to tell me that they thought he had pink eye and that I needed to take him to the doctor. I knew he didn't have pink eye...the area UNDER his eye was red, but not his actual eye. I still ended up having to take the rest of the day off to take him to the doctor. He didn't have pink eye. He had excema under his eye that is not contagious and is now cleared up with the help of some hydrocortizone cream. I made sure the doctor put it in writing and gave it to daycare to put in his file.

This weekend we also had our first experience with respite care. Lets just say that I have a whole new appreciation for foster parents who bring difficult children into their homes. Not that he was horrible but we had some issues with aggression and impulse control - not all that unusal with three year olds - but most of the time it was directed toward Carter, which is a problem. Colby was also a bit of a drama queen so if the other little boy even put his hands on him, he would come crying to me. I certainly won't do something like that again unless Brandon is off from work - that was the longest afternoon of my life.

The last thing I did this weekend involved the garden. I finally got my seeds from Southern Exposure Seed Exchange. I chose a lot of heirloom seeds. I decided to start a few things this weekend - peppers, eggplant and parsley. In a couple weeks I'll start another set of peppers and tomatoes! I'm excited!

Lately...

Things have been pretty calm in my life lately. There's been a little drama at school with a parent...but you're almost not doing your job right if there's not a parent causing drama. The end result of the drama is that I'm not allowed to show the movie The Road, which is rated R for non-sexual naked butts, to my students even if I have parental permission, even if we already read the book. I'm glad to still be able to read the book though. Surprisingly my students really enjoy The Road, especially my boys, and it would be a shame to not be able to read it.

Yesterday we went over to my in-laws' house to clean out their garage. It took about three hours to get it looking good. My brother-in-law suggested we go over to each others houses once a month to clean - I would totally go for that...they can all come to my house next month and help us clean up and organize the attic. It's craziness up there! Yesterday I also started sewing a Vera Bradley-style purse. I had found some fabric at Walmart I liked and I had some extra batting from a quilt I made, so I started cutting and sewing yesterday and finished today. It looks pretty good except for the batting on the inside showing...I might have to come up with an idea on how to make it look better because when you look down into it you can certainly tell that it's hand-made. Looks good from a distance though!

Today I decided that since it wasn't icy cold outside that I'd go do some weeding. I ended up cutting my hands up a bit - use gloves! - but I got a bunch of stuff to add to my compost pile! The next time it's nice out I need to work on my two raised beds...I should be getting some strawberries for them soon and need a place to plant them that's weed free!

My Take on Country Music

I very much enjoy country music. I don't think it's depressing - I think it's real, but not necessarily depressing. If someone says "It's so depressing" then I know they haven't listened to much country music, especially lately. Songs I am currently loving that aren't depressing - Gary Allen "Every Storm", Randy Housers "How Country Feels, and Tim McGraw "One of Those Nights". Carrie Underwood with "Two Black Cadillacs" was surprising to me, but not depressing. Little Big Town, Brad Paisley, Miranda Lambert and yes even the Justin Beiber of country music, Hunter Hayes, have turned out some catchy tunes that are also not depressing. There have been a few songs that have come out in the last several years that do get me every time. Miranda Lambert's "Home" makes me homesick. When I'm really stressed and missing my family I have to change the station to avoid ruining my mascara. Before that was Tim McGraw's "If You're Reading This". If you haven't ever heard that song, you should look it up on Youtube. If you're not misty-eyed by the end there's something wrong with you. Lately the song that's been getting me is Lee Brice's "I Drive Your Truck". I first payed attention to the lyrics while I was cleaning the kitchen and I litterally cried. When I'm driving in the car and it comes on I have to hold it back or change the station. I looked up the story behind that song - a mom who'd lost her eighteen year old son said she coped by driving his truck - and now I don't think I'll be able to listen to it again without crying. So yes country music can be sad, but it's about real life...except for a few songs of course.

Crazy Weather!

The weather has been bizzare lately. Last week it was in the sixties and I zipped home to go for a walk and bike ride with Colby and Carter. Then the next day it poured all day long and then the wind kicked up and it rained some more. The temperature dropped through the floor too! It was so windy on Thursday that we didn't have school - I think they were afraid the wind would be an issue for the buses. Plus it kept raining and I'm sure some places were too flooded to get out. Then on top of that it snowed on Friday and we got another day off from school! I can't tell you how many warnings and watches we've had in the last six or seven days, it's been a little ridiculous. As I type it's snowing again!

Having all these days off has been pretty good (aside from the thought that we'll have to make them up sometimes...sigh). On Thursday Colby asked if we could go to the pool. I agreed and Brandon and I took him to the pool while Carter was at daycare. That was the first time I've had a bathing suit on in a while and while I wasn't super model confident, it wasn't so bad to be seen in a bathing suit :-) After the pool we went to Chick-fil-a. Yesterday we chilled, but today we went to the circus! I haven't been to the circus since I was a little girl and I enjoyed it. The best parts were the scary ones - the globe with the five dirt bikes, the dirt bike guy that made several huge jumps and the trapeze artists. I enjoyed the animals too, but was disappointed that they didn't have any horses. Tomorrow will be a low key day - I'll be making low carb chili for the superbowl :-) I hope the commercials are good!

Blood Test for PKU

One thing that comes with being the parent of kids with PKU is blood tests. We do blood test on Colby and Carter once a month unless our nutritionist wants us to do it more frequently. Knowing how much a finger poke hurts, I always feel bad doing this, but it's necessary to make sure their levels stay within range. We mail them to Richmond and in about a week and a half we get a phone call from the nutritionist to see where they are and make appropriate changes. One thing I noticed about Colby is that when his levels are too high OR too low, his behavior gets more erratic. Lately it hasn't taken much to send him to a crying fit. I mean not a few tears, but sobbing. According to what he's eating, he's right where he needs to be, so I'm thinking that since he now weighs almost 50 pounds that his protein intake needs to go up because his levels at the moment are too low. We'll see. Blood tests don't seem to bother Carter at all. Give him a bottle and he doesn't seem to care if I give him a heal stick...for now.

A Few Frustrations Lead to God

Well, it snowed for the 2nd time in as many weeks. We now have two snow days to make up somewhere (I guess). From the beginning of the week it looked like it was going to snow today...it's a good thing it did because I had no plans for today.

I'm feeling frustrated with school right now...I think this is going to be a very difficult semester because my class sizes are huge and full of students with special needs. I'm certainly not against working with students that have special needs - I'm just frustrated that they weren't spread more evenly between semesters and classes. Now I'm done complaining because it won't fix anything and I hate complainers. I realize the other day that this might be God knocking on my school life door. Yesterday I listend to a local Christian radio station on my way to work and my attitude was way more positive than the day before. I know I've always seperated my work life from church life and I've known for a long time that I was wrong to do that, so maybe God is trying to make me see that I can't do it alone and that I NEED Him. And with nearly 25 special needs students and 80 students total I'll need His help more than ever. Just a comparison - last semester I had maybe 5 special needs students and 70 students (and I thought that those classes were big...ha!).

Other things I'm frustrated about today:

1. The sound randomly stopped working on the computer (how am I going to watch walking dead now?!)
2. The weather channel keeps naming these winter storms (todays was Khan...the wrath of Khan...ha!)
3. The laundry won't put itself away (sigh)
4. And I'm wearing two pairs of pants, three shirts, socks and slippers and I'm just comfortable...that's a lot of clothes to wash and put away (see #3)
5. I lost my wedding band for about 24 hours earlier this week. It fell off because my hands were cold and probably because I lost weight. I found it later in the vegetable drawer in the fridge. (Ha!) Might need to get my rings resized.

Dreaming of my Summer Garden

Today I've been thinking about our garden. Last year we didn't plant one because Carter was born the week we would have needed to plant and I can tell you having had major surgery I wasn't going anywhere near the garden.

This year I'm really excited. Our neighbor breeds rabbits and he's been letting us use the rabbit poo on our garden. We also planted oats and peas which are supposed to be good ground cover and add nitrogen to the soil. The oats and field peas came up only in patches, but about a week before we're ready to do our final till, we just mow it all down and plow it all under. This year I'm also committed to only growing heirloom vegetables. One plus is that we can save the seeds to use the next year. Another plus is that we won't have to worry about GMOs. I don't know if anyone else has heard the debate about this recently, but Genetically Modified Organisms are not up my alley.

So far here's what we want to grow during the summer - tomatoes (Roma and slicing), summer squash, zuchini, green beans (bush), onions, cucumbers (slicing), watermelon, pumpkin, okra, peppers (sweet and maybe one jalepeno). After all that's done I'd like to plant spinach, lettuce, sugar snap peas and broccoli for a fall crop. I'm also thinking of working some herbs into one of my front flower beds. So far the only thing I've been able to grow well in this particular flower bed is crab grass and a few flowers. I think working the herbs between the flowers will be a good plan and look a lot better than crab grass. Sunflowers have been unsuccessful in all of my flowerbeds much to Brandon's disappointment. I think I'll try again with the sunflowers but I'll do it differently this year - when the weather gets warm I'll start them in the plethora of plant containers I have and then transfer them to the beds when they get a good size. I'll see if that helps.

What I'm really excited about is planting strawberries in the raised beds at the side of the house. Last year I grew some spectacular queen anne's lace - this year I think it can go to a better use. I need to do some research on preparing soil for strawberries, but I think it's gonna be good...better than buying strawberries from California every time I turn around, right?

Snow!!

Well, I promised to put up a new post at least once a week and I noticed I'd already missed posting for over a week...oops! But it can be a good thing...that means nothing very interesting has happened and I didn't have anything to write about :-)

Yesterday something interesting did happen...it snowed...a lot! We probably got about 6 or 7 inches. Colby was super excited. He burst into our room this morning almost in tears because he'd been watching the news and they said the sun was going to come out and melt the snow. I guess he was afraid he wouldn't be able to play in it before it melted :-) But he did get to go outside and play pretty much all morning. It wasn't very good snow for snowballs because it was a bit powdery, but he and Brandon still managed to fling snow at each other :-) and Brandon took Colby to the elementary school down the road to go sledding. There's a huge hill there. They seemed to have a blast!

I on the other hand had to grade papers :-( Today was supposed to be a teacher workday and I SURE had work to do. At this point I'm not sure when grades are due...soon I assume...so even though I couldn't go to school I had to finish grading exams and start planning for next semester. I'm pretty stressed about starting the new semester next week - I haven't even had time to make copies of my syllabus! I might have to go in on Monday, which is supposed to be a day off, and pray that I can get to a copier. If not, I guess I can scramble for one block and get my act together for the others during my planning...I'll think of something! One thing most teachers are good at doing is coming up with a Plan B, C, D, E, or F on the fly!

Oh, and I didn't do super great these past two weeks when it comes to dieting...I lost one pound and was steady on my measurements. That's nothing to sneeze at. I didn't gain! But I guess I was hoping it would go a bit faster :-) I'm just going to blame it on my mom for tempting me with sweet potatoes and chocolate cake (which I didn't eat!) :-) Love you mommy!

Colby's Christmas Presents

So, one of the gifts we got Colby for Christmas was a camera. He loves taking pictures with our camera, but I don't want him to break it so we bought him is own $30 camera. He has been taking pictures like a crazy person the last couple of days. I haven't really looked at them, but he takes pictures of some crazy stuff like the brake light or other cars on the interstate or Carter's blanket. Maybe one day he'll grow up to be a photographer or something!

Another thing we got him for Christmas is Toy Story 3. It has now become his favorite movie and he wants to watch it all the time. Good thing I also like it! But it does make me cry sometimes! He's watching it as I type.

I'm so looking forward to this weekend. I'm going to Hampton for the weekend. One thing I want to do this year is visit every other month. Not that we've been bad about visiting or anything, but I want to be really consistent about it. I think my mom worries about missing the boys grow up or that they won't get to know her, but I hope visiting regularly will help her feel better about living a ways away. It's supposed to be nice this weekend, so maybe we'll get to do some fun stuff!

What Goes On in His Mind?

So lately Colby has been thinking that kindergarten is like boarding school. He thinks that when he goes, he'll no longer live at home and see the same people that he sees now. I am stumped about where he got this. He doesn't read Harry Potter or watch Matilda. He doesn't know anyone that went away for school...I just don't know where he got it! It cracks me up though :-) I try to explain to him that he'll still live at home, but he talks over and over again about how he won't be here and Carter will play with his toys...that boy is silly!

Two things that surprised me today...

1. It's going to be in the 70s this weekend! I know, it's crazy! It's January!
2. I hate putting my laundry away. Ok, this didn't really surprise me, but I was reminded again today that I hate to put my laundry away. Anybody with me?

Summer Project Finished

Today I finished a project that I started over the summer. Back in June or July, Mary Lee, Nick's fiance, gave me about twenty of her old shirts that she didn't wear anymore. I guess she's like most of us and unwilling to part with them because they had some sentimental value. So I cut them up and peiced them together and using a large t-shirt sheet as the backing I made a quilt! It looks pretty good IF I do say so myself! :-)

It's certainly not perfect, but I learned a lot about the process of doing this so if I do this again it'll be even better! I hope you love it Mary Lee!

Back to the Weigh Station!

Today was my first appointment at the Weigh Station of the New Year. I'd taken a break and hadn't been since Nov. 8th. I had decided to not worry about ketosis (that's when my body breaks down fat...you have to eat only protein to get to this stage and then you add back some fruits and vegetables and strive to stay in ketosis by staying away from carbs) and stay on diet when I could and not worry about it when I was at a party or get-together. Today I am glad to report that I did not sabatoge myself! I lost 3 pounds since my last appointment! I want to lose another 26 pounds and then I will re-evaluate where I am. If I look at a BMI chart, I need to get below 150 pounds to be considered normal. I think I can get there, but I think I might have a hard time keeping it off. I've read a few articles about how your body is always strivng to get back to your highest weight...I sure hope not! And I REALLY hope those articles aren't talking about pregnancy weight! Anyway...tally ho!

One of My Greatest Accomplishments of 2012

One of my greatest accomplishments of 2012...well to be honest I started it at the end of 2011...was finishing up the Game of Thrones book series. If you've ever seen one of the books, almost all of them are around 1000 pages, you'll understand that this really is an accomplishment. To be honest, I really did like the series, but it was very dark compared to lots of things I normally read. As a matter of fact, I took a long break at the beginning of the year because I got irritated with the series (keep reading to see why) and the darkness can be overwheliming at times and then finished with a flourish over the summer. The characters were unique, which is probably why I kept reading...I wanted to find out what happened to them! I particularly enjoyed the characters of Jon Snow and Tyrion Lannister. One thing I didn't like about the books was the way the author, Martin, kills off beloved characters with the stroke of a pen and those evil one's never really seem to get punished. People who have read the series will recall the Red Wedding as one of the worst/best examples of killing off characters. Some people say the killing off of beloved characters is what makes this series unique - nothing is sacred - but I say that's what makes it so annoying. I also would like to know where this whole thing with Arya is going, I'm really confused as to how her exploits at the moment have anything to do with anything, and if Daenerys finally gets on with this whole being queen thing. Apparently I'll need to wait a while for the next book because Martin is notorious for taking years to write a new book.

To answer your unspoken question, no I have not watched the HBO series. It apparently has a lot of graphic nudity for no good reason, so I've not watched it. Sure there's sex in the books, but I don't consider it graphic compared to some romance novels I've read. I just came to the conclusion a long time ago, that what you put in your head stays there for a long time and I don't want some of the book's exploits in my head like that. Plus I wouldn't want to buy the series and then have teenage Colby and Carter find it and think that's the way you treat women...yeah, that would be bad. Anyway, if you want a good read and enjoy well-crafted characters, try Game of Thrones, but don't expect to get it done any time soon!